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I was an adopted child.  For years I wondered about where I had come from, who I actually was, what my lineage was.  Then as I grew older I started to have medical problems and wondered what kind of medical history I had.  In Oklahoma it is difficult to get your information.  Had ask several lawyers over the years how to get the info and they said you can't. But finally in 2000 I searched and found my birth family's names.   And I had been square dancing with a cousin for several years and did not know we were related.

The search took me about 4 weeks from the initial information to find my parents and a brother and sister and others but took 50+ years to get that initial info and after that about 6 months to locate everyone I wanted to talk to.  It was an intense time, many highs & lows.  But through this time I have met other adoptees and other adoptive parents and have made some very good friends.  So has been interesting to talk to others in the same or similar circumstances.

I do not have much family left in my adopted family but we are as close as ever, maybe more so.  My new family is thrilled that I found them.  We are close, talk all the time, are together at family events and I was welcomed with open arms.  I know this does not happen all the time and I have been fortunate. But be aware that you can be rejected for unknown reasons even if you find family. Searching is a very intense time so be prepared for what you might find. You will hit many highs and lows in your search. Email me if you need help or need to bounce some ideas off someone or just want to vent that you have hit a brick wall. Always keep some information to yourself so you will know for sure when you get reliable information and beware of scammers.

I encourage you to search and I'd be happy to help any one with their search. There are lots of places to find things that sometimes you just don't think about. And some of this information on line is not correct so verify everything. I have helped 2 people find family but they were not happy reunions so be sure you are ready.  One girl we found her father and he did not know he had fathered a child, her mother did not want the information known to her other children.  That other one I helped a girl find her sister.  The girl was 16 when her parents kicked her sister out and the younger sister 9.  She always wanted to know what happened to her sister.  She found her but her sister was very bitter about the situation and told her sister she didn't want contact.  It's unfortunate that this girl who was 9 at the time is being treated like it was her who kicked her out.  All she said is she went to bed and her mother was arguing with her sister and she wasn’t there the next morning and her mother said don’t mention her again. Sad but be prepared for something like this in case it happens to you.

A friend I met during this journey was also looking for her birth identification.  Recently she has been in a film made in Ill when they got the laws changed.  It follows several people when they finally got their identifying records.  It is about 1 hr and 10 min long but a good documentary.  You can view it on youtube. It is called “A Simple Piece of Paper”.  Worth the time to watch it.  Lets you know what adopted people go thru sometimes at the Dr and just trying to find out who you are.  Saddest thing was one man finally got his birth certificate and there was no names on it.  Dr. had written Mother does not wish to be identified.  After all that waiting and expectation to find your lineage he was right back where he started.

Good luck if you choose to search.  You never know what you can find or who is searching for you.

There was a story on TV today (Oct 2016) about a lady who left Germany to escape the Nazi and wound up in Chicago with her parents.  Another girl left Germany with some Catholic nuns and wound up living with an aunt in Chicago, her father was shot trying to get out of Germany and her mother sent to a concentration camp and never heard from afterwards.  Both girls born in 1933, went to the same school in Chicago but was just this year when one was doing her genealogy and went back to her grandfather’s generation and then to his brother and followed that line forward did she realize she knew his granddaughter’s name from school.  She started searching and found her cousin and they have been reunited.

Sorry to report my Aunt that helped me so much with my reunion passed away Aug 3rd, 2017 after a short hospital stay.  Rest in peace Aunt Norma Jeanne.  When I was looking and found my Dad & Mom's names I looked for my mother hoping she was alive but found she has passed and I had a half sister in Portland and a half brother in Ca.  I tried to find a phone no for them but couldn't.  So decided to look for my Dad's side.  I found where I had an Uncle in Oilton, an Aunt in Sand Springs and 2 aunts in OKC.  I had a phone book for Oilton so found my Uncle's no., called him asking for Genealogy and he said talk to Norma Jeanne.  I tried a couple times before I got her.  I told her I was the illegitimate daughter of her older brother and placed for adoption at birth.  She and I talked for probably an hr or more.  Then she said again who was you Mother and I told her, then I told her Mom's husbands name and both kids.  She recognized the son's name.  She yelled Oh My gosh I know who you Mama was.  That boy was the biggest little kid I ever saw.  Then she continued to tell me my mother's husband was related to her husband so she knew my Mom's in-laws and she filled me in a bunch more of my family history.  She told me an Aunt Dorothy I could probably call and get my sisters no.

Aunt Dorothy had recently moved back to the OKC area from NM and I found a no for her and called her.  Without batting an eye she gave me my sisters no.  She was an astute business person and after meeting her and getting the 20 questions I'm surprised I got that phone no. so quickly.  But Aunt Norma set everything in motion for me to meet all my family. She was my go to gal when ever I couldn't figure out which family group someone came from.  I went from a single child to a HUGE family.  Keeping track of Aunts, Uncles, cousins, was almost overwhelming.

Aunt Norma was a great Lady.  As the preacher said she was someone who “showed up”.  To get things done first you have to “show up”.  When her kids were little she was the go to Mama.  She loved big family gatherings with lots of good home made food.  She had organized Family reunions every 2 years for several years until her health declined and she could not do them any more.  She was frustrated why some people would not come to enjoy the company of family.   She had been active in a Neighborhood food project, loved to go camping and fishing, was a canning Judge, was an artist and had won ribbons on her paintings at local fairs, was an active Home Economist, and had won the top honors at the State Bread Baking contest in the State Fair 3 years in a row.  Aunt Norma and I talked anywhere from 2 times a week to about 5 times a week. I sure do miss talking to her.  She was a special special lady to me, to my family and to the rest of the family.  RIP Aunt Norma Jeanne Green.

My other go to Aunt was my aunt Kay.  She could tell me more about distant cousins and had BD and phone no’s for everybody.  Yesterday Feb 14,2022 I went to the nursing home to visit her.  Probably for the last time.  Then that generation of my family will be gone once we lose her.  Sad situation. Then I will be in the older generation.  Do your searching early.  Do not wait.  The following day my Aunt Kay passed.  These treasures that have the family information are priceless to get to know. 

 

 

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